They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
