no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
3pm strippers are depressing
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
