I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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