She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
