You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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