I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
