"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
