kristin has been a bad kristin
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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