Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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