I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
