We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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