You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
