they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
