I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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