Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
