yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
