Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
