also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
