you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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