I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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