Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
