grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
