I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
