I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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