I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
