I cockslap morals
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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