Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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