After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
