That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
