I skipped work to stalk him.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
