ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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