fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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