Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
