she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
