on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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