im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
