Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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