You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
