Welp...herpes.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
