covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
