Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
