I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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