i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
