Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
