Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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