I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
