come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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