I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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