Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
