i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
